Better Late Than Never?

That is a bunch of BULL$#*T!!! 

Guess who showed up exactly two weeks after my IUI?  Good ol' Aunt Flow?  Not only was the bitch four days late, she waited 'til I busted open the 12 dollar pregnancy test and peed on the stick.  As if the evidence on the toilet paper wasn't enough, the obnoxious, "NOT PREGNANT" appear minutes after.

Talk about deflated!  I'm trying not to let this get me too down, but it's hard when you've begun to invest emotionally in something.  I even let myself look at baby clothes and books yesterday.  "Sssssssssssssss,"  that's the sound of more air being knocked out of my sails.  I was starting to exhibit symptoms, I was late, I felt like hell.  "Ssssssss," more air coming out; pretty soon I'm going to look like someone's overloved blow up doll.  Somebody please toss me the bike up, so I can blow a bitch back up!


So many questions floating around in my mind:  "What am I doing wrong?"  "Am I too fat?"  "Should I be eating different foods?" "What can I do different next time?"  "Will there be a next time?"  "Am I meant to be a parent?" 

"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT UPPPPPP!!!!!"

Okay Debbie Downer, you and Aunt Flow can enjoy your moment (or day) in the sun, cuz tomorrow I'm gonna dust myself off and get back on track.  When we started this process we said we'd try three times; it's only been two.  And you know what they say?  "Third times a charm!"  And you know what I say, "Better be muthaf@#$er!"