The only BFP (lol sorry couldn't resist the accronyms I've been consumed by lately, BFP= Big Fat Postive) about not knowing whether or not I'm pregnant... at least I still have hope. I am 12 days post IUI, and according to My Days (the app on my Droid I track my period with), I am 12 days late. Before we crack open the bottle of champagne and celebrate, last month I was four days late when Aunt Flow finally decided to rear her ugly head. And with my symptons, I'd swear she's gonna show up any day now. GRRR
Lately, I've been crampy, tired, moody as hell (just ask my wife), sore boobs, sensitive nipples and nauseas the last couple of days (around the afternoon). Part me says PMS. Part of me says it's all the days meds I had to take to try and get pregnant. But a tiny part of me, that is deeply afraid of disappointment, wants to believe I'm pregnant. The main reason I"m even letting myself entertain the possibility is because of the nausea.
It sucks, everytime I go potty, I dread droppin my drawers and seeing AF. Last time I was four days late; peed on the stick the mornning I woke up, which was 14 DPIUI, and went to wipe myself dry and there she was... Aunt Freaking Flow. It was is she was laughing at me.
I've already prepared myself for failure considering how many times it took my other friends who were close to my age when they tried to get pregnant. I have this fear my eggs are so old and can't be penetrated. What if they're bad? There's no way to know unless they do some expensive egg retrieval for IVF and then discover there's an issue. I'm even to the point where I am afraid to pee on the stick because I don't want to see that "Not Pregnant" again.
Grrrr come on mother nature, cut this girl a break and let me conceive!!
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